There’s a question that I’ve silently come to dislike:

“Are you free?”

At first, it might seem so harmless—just a casual call-in. But as time went on, I realised how laden this question is. It’s never actually about whether I’m free or not. Often, it’s the lead-in to a favour, a job, or an obligation I had not expected.

And then there’s the tricky part. If I answer yes, I feel like I’ve signed some sort of invisible contract to do so, regardless of the request. If I say no, guilt sets in. Why should I feel guilty for opting for rest or for protecting my own time?

Sometimes, I am technically free, but perhaps I need that time for myself. Maybe I want to do… nothing. And that’s okay. But society does not always make it seem OK. Telling, “I’m free, but I’d rather not,” seems like violating some unspoken rule.

The fact is, being “free” does not always equal being available. And needing to make time for myself isn’t selfish—it’s necessary.

So yes, “Are you free?” is a question I hate—not for the words themselves but for the unspoken pressure they carry.

One day, we’ll all be able to easily say:
“Yes, but today, I choose me.”